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  As the light turned green he pointed to his eye, then to me. One of the tendrils of black mercury shot out from him faster than I could follow. It struck me in the center of my chest. I gasped as the cold pain blew through my chest and out to my fingertips. I felt as if I had been stabbed with a spear made of ice. I tried desperately to catch my breath as I watched the cruiser slowly drive down the darkened road with its lights out.

  It took me nearly ten minutes to finally catch my breath. I felt tainted. I felt dirty. I felt violated. The energy of my being was soiled by his mental touch and there was nothing I could do to stop him. Pulling into my driveway I felt thoroughly defeated. With the car still idling I sat outside the house wondering what I was going to do. Who could I talk to? I found that I was both physically and mentally exhausted. I need to sleep. The groceries were scattered all over the backseat floor but thankfully nothing had broken.

  Life had changed yet again but this time it wasn’t going to be a trip to the hospital. I knew the day was coming where I would have to face that man, that demon, again. It was coming soon. I needed to talk to William.

  ~3~

  “He is a Soul Stealer,” William said as he exhaled a large cloud of smoke, “I have heard about them in the stories of the Elders but I didn’t think they truly existed. I guess your experience proves that theory incorrect.”

  “What in the hell is a Soul Stealer?”

  “According to the Elder’s teachings, a Soul Stealer is someone that was given the gift but cannot cope with it. Much as my father could not cope with the ability and took his own life, some have the full gift, such as you. But they take a different course in life. The Darkness has taken over his entire world and now he lives only to consume others. He is a cold blooded killer of the absolute worst kind and to anyone but you he is near unstoppable. He has the potential to be an extremely powerful and very unpredictable adversary. He can move about and remain nearly invisible and can kill with a simple thought.”

  He took another long draw from his ancient pipe and watched the swirling cloud of smoke circle skyward. He nodded as if he had just come to a conclusion then took another puff.

  William and I were sitting at the stone table. He was now completely lost in thought as he sent out clouds of warm smelling smoke. The air around us was alive with the sound of birds and the small creek beside us. The trees were green and the moss that grew around the table gave everything a soft, welcoming look.

  “Remember what I had told you about my father? I think what happens is similar to how some people cope with very high intelligence. They say that the more brains you have, the closer you ride to insanity. Some people that have the abilities that you do can’t quite handle the power and become twisted, hateful and evil. Their world is much like your own but far darker. But unlike you, they see themselves at the top of the food chain, not the bottom. Imagine a narcissistic serial killer but he has the power to control the Darkness. What would someone like that be capable of doing to others?”

  “So what can I do? He has latched on to me for some reason and I can’t do anything about it. He is far stronger than I could ever be! The things he can do, the way he can bend the Darkness to his will is, well…” I thought for several moments, “William, I’m scared. I’m scared for me, scared for Erica and the baby. I can’t stop this, this, thing from doing whatever the hell he wants to do.”

  “If I had to take a guess based on what little I know of him, you are a rare prize. A lucid soul if you will. You are aware of this other world and even in control of parts of it. You are strong enough that in his warped mind you could be a threat but not enough knowledge and power that he would actually fear you. You need to change that. You need to make him fear you; it is the only way you will win against him. He is here just for you so you can count on meeting him again at a place of his choosing.”

  “Ok. I’ll see if I can sign up online for a Soul Stealing Defense class, any recommendations?”

  “You are kind of funny for a depressed white man.”

  He looked at me very seriously then broke a smile and we both laughed.

  “You need to practice. Go out where there are people and practice. Try reading deeper. Try using some of the tactics you see those that inhabit the darker side of life tend to use. Understand the Darkness as you call it. It is as much you as you are it. Shape it to your will. What this killer does is not different from what you can do. Use this gift and see what paths open up to you.”

  “That’s easier said than done.”

  “You say that you can see when people don’t want to be seen, right?”

  “Yes, it’s obvious. They may as well have a beacon over their heads as far as I’m concerned.”

  “He walked in and out of the grocery store without the clerk ever acknowledging his existence. You yourself say you can manipulate a person’s Darkness to some degree. Combine those two and I think it becomes quite obvious how he is able to move about in that manner. I would venture a guess that he goes pretty much everywhere in this manner, it is probably second nature to his at this point.”

  “I guess that makes sense but it doesn’t help me understand exactly how he did it or even better, how the hell I’m supposed to do it.”

  “Knowing it can be done is the first step. Look at any leap in the field of science. I don’t care how far back you go. Once one person discovers it is even possible, many find how to do it. The how is why you need to study people. You already know they can, you need to watch and figure out what it is that makes them different. What they are doing and can you do the same thing? This is about learning.”

  I looked around at the trees while we sat quietly for several minutes.

  William cleared his throat and began speaking, “Imagine that your sense of the Darkness is a sixth sense. Now understand that the Darkness has the standard five senses all to itself. You yourself said you could sometimes smell things in the Darkness. I would be willing to bet the other four senses are present too within the Darkness itself.”

  “When the Soul Stealer grabbed me at the store all of me was overwhelmed but yes, they were there. I could smell dirty swamp water, even the taste of it, like death. The sound was incredible, like having my head plunged into a waterfall, an extremely cold waterfall.”

  “Good. Build on that. You say you get most of your information from the colors you see, correct?”

  “For the most part. How they move, how they flow, the speeds with which they shift and change, how sharp the edges of the curls and folds are. It’s a language all its own that I am reading in the colors.”

  “A language. There you go. Language has tone, and structure, and cadence and any number of things that go into it. Learn them, understand them, use them. Be fluent.”

  William exhaled a large gray cloud of woody smelling smoke. I watched the wisps of it flow and swirl around his own Darkness. The black mercury seemingly oblivious of the environment around us.

  “The language of the Darkness won’t translate straight across to our way of thinking, don’t ever forget that.”

  “I don’t understand, you tell me to be fluent but you say that I can’t?”

  “I’m not saying that at all. Let me put his another way. If you were to learn Lakota, you could learn some basic sayings and they would teach you the English equivalent. For example, if I say ‘Tukténitaŋhaŋ he’ I would tell you that means ‘where are you from’ but that is really a poor translation because the English doesn’t flow the way Lakota does. What I’m actually asking you is something more akin to ‘tell me of the travels that brought you here’. In English that question just feels out of place, but for Lakota, your travels are part of who you are. So the question makes perfect sense, but it is asking far more than simply ‘where did you come from’. Does that make sense?”

  “I think so. I do see a lot of emotions that don’t directly translate. Love and hate are extremely close in the Darkness and can sometimes look almost the same. Same thing goes with admiratio
n and jealousy. If I described them to you it would be difficult if not impossible to explain the difference, there simply aren’t the right words, but to me they look different.”

  “Good. Then you already understand that aspect. I think one of the keys to all of this, how you are able to use your ability, is your emotions. I’m not exactly clear how it works but listening to your story it seems there is a definite correlation. When you reached out to the boy at the mall you were angry. You said it was easier to do than a few moments before with the girl but you attributed it to learning. I don’t know if that is entirely true. When you met the Soul Stealer you were scared, terrified even, and he easily overpowered you. That is also something to think about, Adam.”

  We were silent for several minutes as we each digested his comments. It made a lot of sense to me now, looking back. When I was scared I had nothing. I pushed with very little energy. But when I was angry I found I had to reel myself in for fear of hurting the boy at the mall.

  “I wonder if it is more like a fight or flight type of thing. When someone is scared, they generally want to run away. Not always, but in general. When you are angry, it’s a different mindset. I could see the Darkness reacting the same way, defense is high when scared, and the exact opposite when angry.”

  “That makes sense. The decision making process for each is completely different.”

  William exhaled a large cloud of gray smoke skyward then looked me in the eyes, “This may sound like an odd question, but what do you see when you look at yourself?”

  “I don’t.”

  “You can’t see your own Darkness?”

  “No, that’s not what I meant. I don’t look at myself, ever. Even when I shave or comb my hair I focus specifically on the task and will not look at myself.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “You are asking someone with the self-esteem of a rock why they won’t look at themselves in a mirror? Are you sure you are qualified to do what you do?”

  William continued to remain silent as he not so much stared at me as he did through me.

  “Ok, that might have been a little harsh, I apologize.”

  “No, don’t. I’m still digesting what you said. I see the joke in your words but you are hiding something. What is it? There is more to this than simple self-esteem.”

  “Because, the one time I did it I thought I would go insane. I felt as if I was falling into myself and it scared the crap out of me. Imagine sitting on a chair and that feeling you get just as it passes the tipping point. My whole world felt like that. Like I and everything around me was spinning into oblivion. So I don’t look at myself. As far as that goes beyond driving a car I don’t use mirrors at all.”

  He nodded his understanding, “I’m not asking you to look into yourself. I’m asking you to look at yourself. There’s a difference.”

  Chapter Six

  All Good Things

  I awoke early the next morning feeling rested yet anxious. The red lights on my digital clock indicated it was just before five in the morning. Outside, a soft rain was falling and the neighborhood was still wrapped in darkness. I lay there for some time staring at the ceiling fan dreading the thought of what William said I should do.

  I looked at Erica sleeping and decided it was now or never. I walked quietly into the master bathroom and pushed the door closed behind me with a nearly silent click of the latch. I stared into the sink dreading what I was about to do. I have heard many times how no one truly wants to see into their own soul. I don’t think anyone has really understood what that meant. To look into your own being without any filters or covers. Without any mask covering up the who and what that you truly are, can be overwhelming. It’s like the world’s biggest game of truth or dare and you are the only one playing. When you look into your own soul there is no lying, no altering the truth, no masking the things you have done. You can lie to yourself about what kind of person you are, but your soul can never lie.

  I took a deep breath and looked into the mirror. I focused on my chin, the stubble from not having shaven for several days. My lips, dry, I could probably use a glass of water. My nose, my very uninteresting nose. The next step is my eyes. It takes a monumental amount of effort to finally look into my own eyes. I actually like my own eyes, I just never look at them. Blue pools of water. My Darkness came into view and my heart jumped. I looked away briefly to regain my composure then looked back. I need to get control of my fear.

  I close my eyes and take several deep breaths before opening them again as I tried to relax. I am only looking at myself in the mirror, that’s all.

  Black mercury flowing in waves around my head. Tendrils with tips of blue and green wave in an invisible wind like congealed smoke. Silver lining flaring with sprites of gold flow around the core. A disturbance at the center is marked by small ripples and curls.

  The edges flow up and around me like a living being, the colors flashing and vanishing in concert with my thoughts and emotions. The sprites and flashes were fleeting. I would no sooner look at one and have it wink out and appear somewhere else. I felt like I was trying to look at something inside my own eye and having it drift off to one side no matter how hard I tried to look. I tried to push out slightly and saw the edges expand gradually, to flow outward like dark living fluid. I pushed out until I could see the edges disappear into the walls. In no way could I feel that I had intersected the wall, it simply didn’t feel like it existed to the Darkness. I pushed further still until the entire room was nothing but my own Darkness swirling with color and flashes of light. I again pushed out further until I could feel my Darkness touch the edge of Erica asleep on the bed. I watched the Darkness swell and flow around me. I then turned my inner vision on myself and began to look at my Darkness through my own black mercury, to read the colors and eddies, the curls and folds.

  I am immediately hit by a heavy wave of vertigo. I was dizzy and felt as if I was going to fall forward. I found I couldn’t even tell which way forward was. I was already falling! I was accelerating as the lightning arcs of color around me began to flash in time with my growing panic. Mentally I was grabbing for something, anything to pull me back. I could hear the rush of what sounded like a heavy wind, and it was growing exponentially louder. Brief flashes of familiar smells whirled in the winds around me. I could smell the damp forest floor for an instant only to be replaced by warm summer wind. Then it was the odor of freshly tilled soil. I was awash in waves of warmth and pains of cold as I fell, spinning wildly. My surroundings were everything and nothing at the same time. I existed everywhere and nowhere. Static pulsed and flashed around me as if I was accelerating, I felt as if any minute I would cease to exist at all!

  In the other room I felt Erica roll over and snuggle her head into her pillow.

  As I tumble uncontrollably, I focus everything I have left on her Darkness. Reaching out across what feels like miles of open space. Flailing like a drowning man as I fall faster into an abyss without end, my dark tendrils reach out and hold on. In an instant the room explodes around me. The clap of thunder generated inside me and expanded outwards in a violent shock wave of golden-white energy. The mirror shattered into dust and fell onto the countertop. The glass shower doors fractured into sand size glass pieces and blew into the stall in a violent cloud. The small opaque window above the bathtub exploded sending dust nearly thirty feet into the backyard. Even the drinking glass kept by the sink was blown away into a million pieces. The air sparkled with a dust made up of anything and everything that had been glass in the room.

  Erica burst into the destroyed room, “What the hell was that!? Are you OK? Holy shit! What did you do?”

  I was sitting against the cabinet on the floor exhausted and still breathing heavy, “I think I broke a rule. That was something that I should never try to do alone. You know, as a matter of fact, I don’t think I should ever do that again. Never ever do that again. That one is up at the top of the list of things not to do now, ever.”

  I lea
ned into the corner and passed out.

  ~1~

  I woke to the sound of my heavy shop vacuum running in the bathroom. She had somehow managed to drag my sorry butt into bed where I had proceeded to sleep for nearly two hours. I rubbed my eyes and grabbed my bathrobe off of the door hook. Erica was just finishing up with the remains of the shower door. The unpainted wall behind the shattered mirror was a reminder of what had happened to the room just a few short hours ago. Stark, unpainted sheetrock and two hangers are all that remained of the full length mirror.

  “Sorry about that,” I said sheepishly.

  “Did you do all of this? Every single thing made of glass in the room exploded.” She opened the medicine cabinet, “Even the small bottles of perfume and nail polish. Everything else is untouched. What in the hell happened? How did you do that? Why did you do that?”

  “I looked at myself and it kind of went south from there. Beyond that I’m not sure what to say.”

  “You looked at yourself? You look at yourself and things blow up? How do you shave in the morning? I’ve seen you in front of mirrors before and the damn room didn’t blow up then.”

  “It’s a long story. I guess I didn’t so much as look at myself as I looked into myself. I really need to listen better to William, I think he might actually know what he is talking about sometimes. I absolutely need to be a hell of a lot more careful when I experiment.”

  “Next time you want to experiment, do you think you could do it outside? I love you and all but your little explorations cause a lot of damage.”

  “I don’t plan on there being a next time for that. That was one exercise I don’t need to repeat. I felt as if I was falling into myself and that just is not a feeling that brings comfort. It makes me dizzy to even think about it. I would have thrown up if I could have figured out where my stomach was.”

  Curling edges of blue and gold. Warm ripples move to the edges in slow waves.