B008M2IEII EBOK Read online

  He turns his back and walks away from the man bleeding out in the packed-down dirt. His Darkness continued to ripple and pulse with an evil blackness as he hopped down a narrow dirt trail toward the highway where he probably parked. I could see the sense of accomplishment and pride in killing another human swirling in the ripples and folds. Even now, this close on the heels of killing another human, Willy was nothing but a notch in his virtual ladder to the top. He didn’t even view the person he just killed as human. He was fodder in the way of a future with more money and power for the well-dressed man. The smaller man was nothing more than a stepping-stone to be planted in the soil, both figuratively and physically. Willy was dead the first time he had spoken to the well-dressed man, he just didn’t know it.

  I am fifteen feet away kneeling in the darkness. I can see the bleeding man’s eyes turned toward me. He sees me and reaches out a weak hand for help I can’t give. His mouth moves as if to speak but no words come out. I can see the blood pumping out of three small holes in his chest. I can’t save him. No one can. His future was sealed when the second bullet punched a hole through the middle of the man’s heart, the other two neatly punched holes through his lungs, even if his heart had continued to pump he would have drowned in his own blood.

  The Darkness swirls around him like an angry sea. Blacks, silvers, blues, greens, even purples and violets race in confusion. Colors I have never seen in a Darkness before. Slowly the storm begins to subside. The ripples and folds begin to slow and the edges turn in and roll slowly toward the middle of the black mercury. Greens and blues begin to push out from the center in flashes of colored light. His Darkness is slowing, fading, leaving.

  His eyes stare at me with no light, no spark. Simply a dead stare. His hand has fallen limp into the pool of blood surrounding his body. His chest no longer rises in labored breaths.

  The Darkness pulses now, probably matching his struggling heartbeat. The storm of confused lights and flashes continues for several helpless moments. Random bright splashes of light appear and disappear with no warning. With a single, final beat the Darkness goes still around him. Over several moments it appears to solidify, turn from the liquid black-mercury I am used to into something akin to black steel. Slowly the mercury begins to spin as if drawn into his core by some great unseen force. Faster and faster it spins with a sound like a rushing, raging wind storm. Smaller and smaller the Darkness becomes until it is nothing but a bright pinpoint of light in his chest. With a final flash of brilliant white light, all of his shadow is gone.

  I see nothing. He is lifeless. He is dead, a hallow shell of a once human. His life force returned to wherever it is the power of life comes from.

  I stare at his lifeless eyes for what feels like hours. I failed you, Willy. Another light, another soul and I failed you. Whether or not I could have done anything doesn’t matter now. I feel as if I just let the entire world down, as if I just watched my best friend die. I cry quietly as I kneel, hidden in the bushes like a coward. This isn’t the life I was destined for. I know I was never meant to cower, afraid to make a difference, afraid to put it on the line for another human being.

  I had always wondered, in this dark part of my mind, what it would be like to see a person without their Darkness pulsing and flowing around them. Now I have. I found it beyond disturbing. I was reminded of the people I see on television but he was there, in front of me. It terrified me. Tears continue to flow down my face as I stared into the open eyes of the scraggly man. What could I have done had I found you earlier in life? Would you still be alive? Would you be somewhere smiling and enjoying those around you? I will never have the chance to know.

  I know what I must do but it takes nearly five minutes for me to find the courage to start it. Finally, I stand and walk out into the clearing over the dead man. I call the police and wait patiently for them to arrive. Something was awoken today. I feel a purpose I didn’t feel before. The shame of having done nothing and seeing the consequences at my feet has made something in me different. The days of hiding under the piles of dirty clothes in my closet are gone. A door has been opened and I am choosing to walk through it. The door isn’t real, but the change in me is. I have no idea what is waiting for me as I pass through the threshold.

  ~2~

  “And you are sure you are OK, you didn’t get hurt at all?” I could hear the genuine concern in her voice.

  “Yes, Erica, I’m fine. They just want to ask a few more questions then I’ll be home.” I wish I could see her to know what was she was really thinking. Another part of me dreaded to see the reality of her words.

  “I don’t know what I would do if I lost you, Adam.”

  “You aren’t going to lose me.” Does she really mean what she is saying? “I will be there as soon as I can honey, don’t worry.”

  “I’ll wait up for you. I love you.”

  “Love you too. See you in a few.” The line went quiet. I held the phone to my head and pretended that I was still on a call. I knew she would fall asleep with her book on the couch while the television silently strobed away the evening news but I was OK with that. For some reason, it felt good that she was actually worried about me. I wonder if I would feel the same way if I were standing in front of her when I told her what I had seen. I wouldn’t be able to tell her even half of the story. I have never mentioned what my curse was to her, never even hinted. Why would I drive that wedge of insanity into our relationship?

  I finally put the phone in my pocket and walked back over to the small group of officers. I get several nods as I approach. I try not to notice their shadows as it makes it difficult to concentrate. I find figures in positions of authority often have a very obvious kind of Darkness swirling around them. Sometimes their Darkness doesn’t tell a very good story. In some cases I find it nearly impossible to tell the good from the bad. I had read once that the difference between an officer and a criminal in a brain scan is almost unnoticeable. I would back that up with the Darkness.

  The coroner walks by us with the empty shell of the scruffy looking man named Willy under a clean bright-white sheet. His body wrapped in a zippered heavy black plastic bag. The powerful police lights bathe the area in an unnatural bluish glow. Several photographers move around taking pictures of the scene. Their overly large cameras flashing over every square inch around the crime scene. Small yellow cards mark the three shell casings and a white outline marks the resting position of a once living and breathing person. I can’t take my eyes away from the large pool of drying blood.

  Two of the officers walk away to the waiting coroner while two remain to speak to me. One of the officers coughs.

  “Mr. Carter, can you hear me?” The taller of the two says impatiently.

  “Sorry. I’m a just a little overwhelmed by everything. I’m not used to,” I look back at the chalk outline, “this.”

  “It’s understandable sir, let’s hope you don’t ever get used to it. So, Mr. Carter, you say you are just down here for a walk?”

  “Yes officer. I walk this path several times a week after dinner. I got home late tonight due to a work related issue so my walk was about two hours later than I usually go, it usually isn’t this dark when I head out.”

  The second officer looks up from his small pad of paper, “Why were you in the bushes sir?”

  The silver mercury flickers and folds as he waits for my answer, he is expecting a lie. Wait, that isn’t quite right. He wants a lie.

  “Because I heard what sounded like two men fighting and I’m kind of a pussy when it comes to that sort of thing?” Honesty of this nature tends to put authority figures at ease. It moves me from the potential threat to non-threat right at the beginning. I can see the change almost immediately in his Darkness.

  The first officer smiles knowingly at the second one. I can see that neither one expected that answer but both believed it. The second officer glanced at my pants and shoes very briefly. He thinks I didn’t see him look. He passes a quick knowing look to his
partner.

  Small sprites of blue and green. A fold forms at the edges of his Darkness.

  I must have dirt on my knees from kneeling and he is going to try to catch me in a lie.

  Another silvery flicker. Wait, is he trying to force a lie this time?

  The second officer doesn’t look toward me but instead looks over to his partner. His partner is now watching for my reaction as he asks the question. This is an obvious mental ploy to get me to relax a little and give body language queues that counter what my words say. I was able to read this kind of thing by the time I was nine. They were doing nothing more than simple misdirection. Conversational magic if you will. For me, it was amateurish and juvenile.

  While still looking at his partner he asks me, “So Mr. Campbell, you were standing in the bushes and just watching the whole thing happen?”

  I smile to myself but show nothing but flat emotion on my face, “It’s Carter, not Campbell, and actually I was kneeling on the ground trying my damnedest to look like a bush. The taller guy that wound up doing the shooting didn’t look like someone I would want to tangle with and he most certainly didn’t want any witnesses left around. I felt it was in my own best interest to hide.”

  I can see they are done with me. They believe what I say and most likely they don’t have enough to ever catch the guy. I can see they have a hint of who it is but I can’t tell anymore. If the well-dressed man disposes of the gun, they really have nothing. Even a moderately good attorney could throw doubt on my late-night-in-the-darkness identification. The man that died most likely had entirely questionable connections to just about every kind of local crime.

  Both of the officers think I am far less than the man they feel they are. I can see it clearly all around them.

  “You have any plans to leave town anytime soon Mr. Carter?” He assumes the answer but asks anyway. In his mind I never go anywhere or do anything.

  “No sir. Up until tonight you could say I had a pretty boring life.” I find my eyes locking on the rapidly drying pool of blood a few dozen feet away yet again. I think back to the incredible flash of light as the man’s Darkness blinked into, well, into wherever or whatever it is that life moves on too.

  “There will probably be a detective contacting you in the next few days. If they have any questions they may need some more information from you but to be perfectly honest, I think we have gotten everything they need. Do you need a ride home Mr. Carter? I can have one of the other officers give you a lift if you would like.”

  “No, thank you though.” I smiled, “I think I could use the walk at this point.”

  “Ok. Be safe Mr. Carter, it’s a nasty world out there.”

  He had no idea what an understatement that was. But to be perfectly honest, I was getting the feeling that neither did I.

  ~3~

  Erica was fast asleep on the couch when I walked through the back sliding door. I made my way through the kitchen to the front door to hang my jacket and keys in their appropriate place. It was nearly one in the morning. I lean over the couch and kiss her lightly on the forehead. She wakes up long enough to realize I am there and hugs me tightly.

  “I’m glad you’re home. I was really worried about you, Adam. Are you really OK?”

  “Physically I’m fine. Mentally I think I might have a few things I need to work out.”

  She hugs me again, “I’m glad you are home.”

  Ripples of green and blue flow around in the silver-black mercury. Roles of silver start at the edges of her Darkness.

  These patterns always put me at ease. When she is like this I see what I saw when we first met. She had swirls of color that spelled out a certain mystery. I carefully pick her up from the couch and take her upstairs to our room. She is asleep again before her head hits the pillow. That is one thing the Darkness allows me to see quite easily. There simply is no way for a person that is awake to fool me into thinking they are asleep. The Darkness never lies.

  With Erica tucked in, I step into a hot shower to try to wash some of what I have seen away. The look in Willy’s eyes will stay with me forever. I can still see the crystal blue eyes of a man that had chosen poorly and was paying the highest possible price for those decisions. The way he reached out to me for help but already knowing that the wounds were fatal.

  I leaned my head under the hot water and let it run over my head and down my back. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw his pleading face.

  He only wanted to live. Would he have changed his ways? If he had been given a second chance at some point in his life would he have been a different man? I think the argument was nurture or nature? The world would never know. He would not be given the chance.

  With the bathroom lights off, I dry myself in the dark. I feel the path open before me but I have no clue which direction to go. I don’t want to hide anymore but I simply don’t know how to do that. I don’t know where to begin. With a large yawn it hits me how exhausted I truly am. The shower did little to wash the experience of the night away.

  I carefully crawl into bed as I try not to disturb my wife as she dreams peacefully.

  I pull the covers up to my shoulders and watch Erica as she sleeps. Slowly the sadness that has dominated my life begins to overtake me again. My last thought as I finally drift off to sleep is to wonder how much longer she will put up with me. How much longer anyone will put up with me. How can someone that has spent his entire life feeling alone be so terrified of not having someone else there?

  ~4~

  A lone bird calls with a long, lonely cry far off in the distance. Far to my right, another answers with a similar call. The air has a slight chill to it.

  I am alone in the woods. The thick forest spreads out in all directions around me, the soft pine needles and ferns cover the ground. A heavy mist floats through the upper branches causing drifting shadows from the bright Moon above. The night is as black as an inkwell but the moonlight that makes it through the wafting mist is more than enough to see by. In nothing but my pajama bottoms I begin to try to find my way through the thick undergrowth. I look around for a trail or path but there is no sign of how I got here, where I came from, or where I should go. Low underbrush and trees extend as far as I can see in every direction and regardless of where I look I see nothing indicating an opening in the trees. No guidance. I am truly alone in this forest without end. It smells like there might be water somewhere nearby but I cannot see or hear it. The heavy moss on the trees carries a relaxing smell. Aside from the occasional distant bird call and the slight breeze moving through the tops of the trees, the dark woods are silent. Even though I do not know where I am, I do not feel lost. I don’t feel like I am out of place, I don’t feel as if I don’t belong here.

  I take one step and a branch snaps under my bare foot. The breaking branch sounds like a gunshot in the silence and echoes loudly through the forest. Even the mist seems to freeze momentarily at the sound. Something has heard me. Something in the distance has just become aware of my existence. Something that is evil beyond all human measures. I can sense it flying through the forest toward me, fast, unstoppable. It makes no sound but as it gets closer it desires me more. It wants to consume me. I can’t tell which direction it is coming from. It is approaching faster but all around me at the same time. I sense that it is nearly here, so close now I can smell it. It reeks of ozone and madness. I can hear the trees and underbrush rustle as it closes in. Bushes and trees all around me waver at the passing of the thing. The air around me feels heavier the closer the thing comes. The lurking shadow is here I can see it. It can see me. It’s hatred of me is overpowered by its desire to consume me, devour me, destroy everything I ever was or will be. It will make me into nothing that ever was.

  I sit up in bed and struggle to stifle my scream. The dream is still with me. I can smell the forest, the wet undergrowth. The ozone feels thick in the room. I lay back down and look at the slow turning ceiling fan. Something is coming, something really, really bad. Whatever it is, it
touched me tonight. It knows about me.

  Chapter Two

  What Evil Brings

  It has always been tradition that I wake up early Saturday morning and make breakfast and this Saturday was no different. I am midway through mixing the pancake batter when Erica walks sleepily into the kitchen. Her hair is messy and her eyes are still adjusting to the light but I find her more attractive in this condition than just about anything else. She is natural and honest with nothing to hide.

  I hand her a fresh cup of coffee, “Mornin’ Sweetie. How did you sleep?”

  “Very well thank you. Glad this week is finally over. I do love how this house smells early Saturday morning,” she gives me a bear hug and a longer than normal good morning kiss. She feels warm in my arms.

  I find myself trying not to see her. Not ‘look at her’ mind you but trying not to see her. Trying not to see the Darkness and have it intrude on the morning. I don’t want to start second-guessing every comment and seeking to see what is underneath or dig out some hidden meaning. I’m one of those people that can’t watch a beautiful sunset and not see the bad weather forming that created it. The instant I see a random sprite in the black-mercury I surrender to my own dark world and begin to wonder what she really means or what she really wants to say to me.

  “Any plans for today?” She asks as she absently pushes the bacon around in the pan.

  “Thought maybe we could head down to the store and grab something for a picnic at the park maybe? Get that spot down by the water we like so much? It’s been a really long time since we just hung out together and just did nothing.”

  This was one our few special places. We used to meet there a lot when we first started dating. It was a good place to just sit and talk without feeling as if we were taking up a restaurant table somewhere. Those days suddenly felt like several lifetimes ago. I can feel the cloud as it tries to settle on me. That storm that raged deep inside of me that would tell me I had wasted my life and didn’t deserve what I had or that whatever it is I had will be taken away whether I like it or not. I took a deep breath and pushed it back down. I knew pushing my feelings away would start a never ending cycle of depression and anger but I didn’t know how to end it.