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  “What the hell did you say to her you creepy bastard! You don’t look like any cop I ever seen!” he is nearly yelling as he leans in close to my face. He turns his head left and right as he spews the words at me.

  I stare at him for several moments. The colors flowing make me wonder about his past and the probability of him having a successful future. The anger in the young man is obvious but I’m not sure what to do. Does this boy even have a future? Is the damage already done? Is there any way to try and correct this?

  “Figures. Freakin’ mall perve can’t handle it when someone tougher than him gets all up in his face.” He crosses his arms in front of his chest and stands defiantly in front of me.

  “How about I just kick your ass for scarin’ the crap out of one of my girls! What do ya think of that mall perve? How about I do that then get a real cop over here to clean up the mess I leave? What are you going to do ‘bout it, old man?” he pokes me in the chest hard as if to drive his point home, to challenge me, make some sort of claim to his manliness.

  My desire to help him vanishes in a flash of anger. I reach out again but this time there is no caution. Again the tendrils of life energy reach out toward the boy. I show no emotion as I surround his Darkness. The devious smile falters as he senses me reaching out. The first edges of fear form in his smile as I completely surround him. I am not being gentle.

  I smile slightly, a twisted, angry smile, as I begin to squeeze. This foul excuse for a human cares for no one but himself. People are merely tools to get what he wants. I squeeze far tighter than the girl. This sorry excuse for a man doesn’t even see other people as human, just pawns in a game where he sets the rules. I give one more push and the boy gasps for air as if he had just been physically punched.

  Edges of red flash with brilliant sprites of green and orange. Smears of red ripple near the center.

  I look at the boy; there is fear where before there was overwhelming confidence. The world that he thought was his alone to control has been turned on its ear. Someone, or something, has made itself aware of him and his actions, and it isn’t happy with either.

  I lean in close and whisper in his trembling ear, “I’ll be watching you. I’ll be watching your every move. Everywhere you go I will be there, all around you, watching. As for that young girl, I would strongly suggest you forget she ever existed. As for the others, let’s just hope they don’t come to me for help at any time in the future, because I won’t be feeling so charitable then. It’s been really nice chatting with you but for now you should probably start running before I change my mind and crush you completely out of this world.”

  I can clearly see the souls of his white tennis shoes as he sprints down the mall in the same direction as his friend. His Darkness is alive with flashes of terror and confusion. I may never know if it was enough to turn him around, but I can hope. I can be fairly certain that the young girl stands a chance now as I don’t think he will ever go anywhere near her again. He looks over his shoulders several times before I lose him in the crowd.

  The young man watching the counter walked out with the wadded up dress, “Thanks man, you put the fear of God in those kids. You undercover or somethin’?”

  “No sir. I’m just someone that decided to start making a difference,” I give him a friendly smile, “You have a good day.”

  I turned back toward the bench and saw Erica’s eyes wide with wonder. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my shaking. As I started walking toward her she stood to meet me halfway, “What did you say to them? Why did they both run off like that? What in the world did I just see?”

  I held my hands out to try to slow her down, “It wasn’t what I said, OK? It’s the things I can do.”

  “I’m trying to understand Adam, I really am. I know you are reaching out to me, and I really want to understand. Are you saying you want to work security instead of computers?”

  I laughed out loud and several heads turned our direction, “No honey, that’s not what I am saying at all.”

  “Then help me! I want to understand! I know you are reaching out but I’m not getting it!”

  “I know, Hon,” I smiled at her and held her hand. With a sigh I began, “I see things that most people can’t see. My world is a world of swirling Darkness. Everywhere I look I see the life energy encompassing all living things. It swirls and pulses with emotions and thoughts and feelings, everything that makes you who you are. I can read it the same way you would read a book or look at a picture. I can see right now that you don’t quite believe me. Actually, that is kind of an understatement. You think I am completely full of shit. It shows up in the blurred edges of faded red. It’s complicated but I’ve been doing it all my life. What I can see, smell, hear, sometimes even taste the shadows around me, it is a language that can’t lie, can’t hide the truth and can never be anything but what the life of that person really is. I can see this, this, thing around you right now. It’s this dark shadow, like a pool of black-mercury flowing, alive, around you. Sometimes they are small and not very active, sometimes they absolutely dance around the person. ”

  “It’s hard, Adam. I want to understand, but that all sounds like crazy talk to me. Help me understand.”

  I could see the desperation in her eyes, “Fine, I didn’t want to do it this way because I thought for sure it would send you running just like those two did, but there is no getting around it. I think it’s time for a little game of show-and-tell. Put your coffee down and look at me.”

  She did as I directed. Her Darkness was a swirl of concerns and questions. I found it slightly easier every time I did it to reach out and touch the other Darkness. I briefly found myself wondering where the edge of this ability was.

  “This will feel strange at first but please trust me, I’m not going to hurt you.”

  My Darkness surged out quicker than I intended but I grabbed hold and molded it to my will. The tendrils floated around Erica and encompassed her. I ever so gently enclosed her completely within my own black mercury then began to adjust the sprites and ripples. I eased the edges and slipped the faded reds into blues. Slowly her Darkness began to settle and mild ripples of warmth began to pulse through her. Her eyes were locked on mine as a warm smile began to spread across her face. I gently coaxed the core into a gentle rhythm of soft ripples of blue and green. Ever so gently I moved the black-mercury.

  “What are you doing? Is this feeling you? What in the world…” her voice trailed off as she closed her eyes.

  I said nothing as I continued further than I ever had before. Our Darkness was a single pulsing orb around us. To any passersby we would appear to be locked into a staring contest but to me we were a growing sphere of black mercury with bright flashes of blue and green, arcs of color would jump between our Darkness, wherever they touched sprites of blue and green would explode outward. Silver edges ebbed and flowed around us as we sank deeper and deeper into each other. With one final push, I felt a warm wind and the comforting smell of fresh linen wash over me. I pulled away and our Darkness again became two life forces independent.

  For several moments she just stared at me blinking repeatedly, “What in the world was that? It was like a blanket, fresh out of the dryer was draped across my mind. Was that you doing that? I can’t even explain what that was! Were you in my head?”

  “I wasn’t in your head. I was in the life essence that makes you who you are, the energy that swirls around you. I hope you don’t feel violated. I wasn’t sure how to warn you and you wouldn’t have understood even if I could have. Now you understand why this is difficult for me?”

  “I’m starting to get an idea. How on Earth could I feel violated? I want more of that! That was incredible! It was like, well, I don’t know what it was like! There aren’t any words!” She was giddy with excitement, “If that is your world why don’t you do that all the time? That didn’t feel like a sad place at all!”

  “Because that wasn’t what normally happens. You are a good soul and that isn�
��t exactly how I normally interact with it.”

  We sat down on the bench again and she faced me still giddy with excitement, “I’m still blown away by how amazing that was! How can your world be so dark if that is what your world is made of?”

  “So what you have sensed, that feeling just now, that is the high end of my world. Most of my world is the exact opposite of that. It’s very cold, evil and vile. I see it around me, everywhere, all of the time and I have no way to turn it off. I don’t have the ability to not see it. Every single person walking past us has one. Some are darker than others, more sinister. Some carry around guilt for passed deeds while others seem oblivious of the things they do. Either way, it’s all the same. A huge mass of swirling black-mercury with a dark story to tell. For me, every person I see wears their dirty little secrets out in the open for me to read, and the worse that person is the more their Darkness stands out. The more black and dirty their life essence is. I see how people truly are, there is no hiding it. And let’s be honest, there are a lot of really crappy people in the world.”

  The look on her face told me I had finally been able to fully describe my world to her. I had put my life experience into a feeling she could comprehend. She simply stared at me with the understanding of how completely dark my world could be.

  “So where do you go from here? What do you do now?”

  “Well for starters we stop saying things like ‘you’ and start saying things that begin with ‘we’. I help people when I can, stop them when I can’t. It’s really that simple. I think I have a purpose, a mission in life. I can help people unlike anyone else can. William says that using it is what will make me whole, it will make that empty space inside me go away. He seems to think the more I use it the stronger I will get.”

  “You showed William this?” her raised eyebrows showed her shock.

  “No, to be honest I don’t think I could do what I did to you and not feel, well, as if I was cheating. What we just did was probably a tad sensual for the mall if you get my drift.”

  She blushed slightly and I could see it was real embarrassment in the swirls of Darkness.

  “He could sense that I was different. That was why he wanted to talk to me alone. I had reached out to him when you and I were in his office, just kind of trying to get a better read on him I guess. I’m still pretty new to doing that but not only did he sense it, I felt him try and block it. He wanted to pull me aside and try and give me a direction. He was the one who finally told me something that made sense. That I need to go out and use my gifts for good. Then I would find my purpose, my place. That my life would finally feel like it is falling into place and I would have peace.”

  “And you have that now?”

  “Yeah, I do. For once in my life, I really think I do. I feel better when I reach out. What we did energizes me.”

  We leaned back in the bench and watched the world walk by for several moments in silence.

  “So this energy, what did you call it?”

  “I’ve taken to calling it the Darkness. Most of them tend to be on the blacker side of gray.”

  “Darkness then. You see this all the time? Everyone has it?”

  “Yep. Every single person I see does, unless it is something recorded or broadcast.”

  “So you don’t see it in movies or pictures?”

  “Now you know why I won’t watch TV much. It creeps me out to no end watching all those dead people walk around and talking. Even the evening news is a zombie movie to me.”

  “What do you see around us now? Is there Darkness everywhere?”

  “You sure you want to know?”

  “Yes. Show me a minute of your world.”

  She leaned into my shoulder as I began, “All right, don’t say I didn’t warn you. I see the Darkness all around us. A moving sea of shadows filled with various colors that all tell a different story. See that couple over there? The guy with the woman in the pink shirt? He is a controlling ass-hat and the woman holding his hand is absolutely terrified of him. He, on the other hand is wondering about the old woman’s purse, the one sitting in front of the coffee shop. Now the old woman doesn’t even see him, she is worried about the two African-American kids over there sitting by the fountain, the two that just started laughing. Those two in turn are watching that group of four girls trying on shoes in that place across from us and wondering which of them the clerk thinks is more attractive. You see the clerk? He is the one that just yawned, he just wants to go home but he is worried that his boss will make him stay late yet again for no reason he is aware of. Now his boss? The guy watching around the corner there, glasses, looks like someone just crapped in his breakfast cereal? He is pissed off that the girls like his employee more than him so he is planning on keep the kid late just to show him who is in charge. Shall I keep going?”

  “This is your world all the time? Can you read minds or something?”

  “That is how my life is and why I used to stay away from crowds. Until just a little while ago, I would be overwhelmed sitting here. Like every person here was screaming at me all at once. I can’t read minds but the more people interact with each other the easier it gets to see what the details are. It just occurred to me why I was having such issues with you, with us.”

  She leaned in to me, “Do tell.”

  “We are hardly ever with anyone else. It is almost always just the two of us, alone. I can read these people so well because whether they know it or not they are interacting with each other. It all seems so clear now! Why didn’t I see this all before?”

  “I’m glad it seems clear to you because I would be positively overwhelmed.”

  “Oh, I still am but the more I do it the more I can take, the more I can deal with and not feel like I’m getting crushed.”

  We continued to watch people for the next three hours before I began to get extremely tired. It was a good tired though and for once we were both laughing and smiling like the old days.

  When we finally arrived home she talked me into trying to push out to her again. This time it was definitely not appropriate for the mall.

  Chapter Five

  When it Rains

  I had one week remaining on my leave of absence from work and I was already dreading getting back to the grind of my daily job. I dreaded everything about it, the morning commute, most of my coworkers, my boss, the food in the cafeteria, and finally the return commute. It all sucked.

  Finally being able to tell Erica everything, on the other hand, had been about as freeing as I could ever imagine. She started going on my morning walks with me much more often and I felt closer to her than I think I ever had. We would walk and talk and with every person we passed there would be a knowing look from her. Like I was a celebrity and it was our little secret. The initial thrill she had asking about every person passed fairly quickly the first time we came across a fairly bad person.

  We were on the lake trail and just coincidentally not too far from where I had seen Willy depart the world.

  “So what about that guy? The one sitting on the bench there?”

  About fifty feet ahead of us an older gentleman was sitting on a bench with his hands folded in his lap, “He doesn’t look like a particularly good person to be honest.”

  “How so?”

  He turned as the sounds of our voices finally got his attention.

  Red flashes of light arc to the center as the waves and curls race out. Small brown sprites erupt at the edges as small flashes of green appear around the edge.

  He was most definitely an evil and violent man. Far beyond my ability to help him. His desire to control and harm my wife when he looked at her was unmistakable but so was his lack of will to actively pursue it. We continued past him in silence, he continued to look at Erica without turning his head, making himself look even more evil.

  “So why is he bad?”

  “I would say there are pretty good odds that tonight he will be thinking about hurting you, and that will bring him great pleas
ure.”

  She gets a disgusted look on her face, “Good lord! Are you serious?”

  “Without a doubt. That man is eight shades of messed up if you ask me.”

  “Isn’t there something you can do?”

  “What would I do? Assault him then explain to the cops that he looked at you funny? Or would I tell them that I read his Darkness like a book, and it is a particularly sick book?”

  “OK. I get it. Your world is a damn dark place sometimes.”

  ~1~

  She was just starting to show but already concerned about weight gain and trying to stay in shape while her body fought her every effort. We were laughing more and fighting less. There seemed to be a light from behind the overcast that always that always seemed to surround me.

  I was sitting in my favorite chair engrossed in my new book when I heard glass jars clinking as someone pushed things around in the refrigerator.

  “Everything OK in there, Hon?” I had heard the sound of a mad craving search enough to know my very near future would involve my shoes being put on, a car, and extremely random items from the grocery store.

  “How in the world are we out of pickles? There was a half full jar not two weeks ago.”

  “I threw that jar out last week.”

  “It was half full! Why would you do that to me?”

  “It was at least seven months past date, I was afraid to even open it. I think I saw one of them come at me in self-defense when I grabbed the jar.”

  “Well fine. I’ll have you know though, I would kill for a pickle right now. Oh, and some really cheesy macaroni and cheese. Not the powder crap, I want that gooey bag of squeeze cheese that isn’t actually cheese. I don’t want to know what it really is I just want to eat it. I could probably eat the bag straight, hook it up to an IV, mainline that damn cheese.”